I’ve had a series of coaching calls recently with a guy who won’t talk to his kids about his job search–and he’s been out of work for a YEAR. His reason? He doesn’t want to scare them or cause them concern. Underneath that, he doesn’t want them to see him as a failure.
He’s not alone. I spoke with a woman recently who’s been in a job search for months, but she still leaves the house every day like she’s going off to work–and her family has no idea. She doesn’t want to upset anyone.
Here’s why they’re both wrong (and why you are, too, if you’re keeping such an important event from your family):
1. A job search is stressful–there’s no getting around that, even if it’s going relatively well. If it’s taking months, the stress builds. I guarantee that your kids (and your spouse) are picking up on your stress–so your ‘sheltering’ act is likely to fail anyway. It’s not a healthy family situation. It’s too much for you to handle alone–you need support from your loved ones.
2. Your kids won’t see you as a failure. They just don’t think that way. They only see that you need a job. Your kids’ biggest concerns are going to be about them: will they have to move? will they lose their friends? You can reassure them. If you’re not talking about it, they are worrying about these things alone.
3. You are missing out on a prime teachable moment in your children’s lives. Do you think they’ll never be in a difficult situation? You need to prepare them for the adversity they will no doubt face in their lives. Kids learn best by EXAMPLE. Show them how to pick yourself up, move forward, and overcome a tough spot. It will be something incredibly useful they will carry with them forever.
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Here’s a great way to show your kids how to take positive action in a crisis…sign up for a free job search webinar and tell them about it.
See what’s available this week for your job search, resume, or interviews: Training Webinars Page